


In This World

by pulangaraw



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Episode Tag, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-23
Updated: 2009-02-23
Packaged: 2017-10-02 05:46:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pulangaraw/pseuds/pulangaraw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But now, for the first time in long years, he wanted to stay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In This World

**Author's Note:**

> This is a tag to 5x19 "Vegas", set after the episode in the Vegas AU. It does contain spoilers.  
> Betaed by the lovely kimberlyfdr.

John lay in the hospital bed thinking about it all. Alternative universes; an endless number of them. The story of his life played out in any way possible.

He was sure that in some worlds they were too late and he died in the desert. Very probably there were some other worlds in which they found him in time, but he was too badly injured and he died in hospital. And there had to be a few worlds in which he just hit the road with a bag of cash in his trunk and never looked back.

And then there was this world. His world. And here McKay's people had found him in time and he didn't die in hospital.

Here he was safe and alive and he knew that McKay was somewhere in this building, probably working on some other impossible thing he didn't want to know about.

He knew McKay was near because he had seen him this morning when McKay had come and checked on him. John had pretended to be asleep. He'd needed more time to plan his next moves.

###

“So, this is where you work,” John said, slouching in the doorway, hands in the pockets of his salvaged jeans. He wasn't sure if they made the scrub shirt he was wearing look less or more ridiculous, but he didn't really care either way.

McKay turned away from his laptop and looked at him. “One of the places. There are others, depending on where I am needed most.”

“Right, because you're – what – a supergenius?” John had perfected scoffing a long time ago.

“No. I'm an astrophysicist and engineer. But I am very likely one of the most intelligent people on this planet,” McKay answered in a voice that sounded more resigned than boasting.

John waited for more, but McKay just ignored him and turned back to his work.

John watched him for a few minutes, contemplating his next steps. He could go back to his hospital bed and be bored out of his mind. He could wander around further and see what other secrets this complex held. Or he could stay and try to get some more information out of McKay. He decided on the latter.

“So you and that girl doctor work together?” he eventually asked.

McKay didn't turn around. “Obviously.”

“How well do you know her?”

At this, McKay did turn around. “We're friends.”

There was a short pause and McKay's tightly controlled façade slipped a little, the corners of his mouth turning down. “Look, is there anything in particular that you want from me? If not, I have important work to do. You should be in bed anyway.”

“I was bored.” John shrugged. “Besides, I feel fine.”

“Yeah, because getting shot and almost blown up and then lying around in the desert for hours is no big deal at all.”

“That almost sounds like you're concerned for my well-being.”

“It would be unfortunate if you died after such a valiant effort to save the planet, that’s all.” McKay turned around again, obviously expecting John to leave; which John had no intention of doing.

“You know, seeing that you know _everything_ about me, it would only be fair if I get to know more about you.”

“I'm busy.”

“Afraid I'll unearth some dark secrets?” John grinned.

McKay heaved a put-upon sigh. “Fine. You get ten minutes.”

“Cool,” John said, pulled up a chair and dropped into it. “So, you’re some kind of bigwig, right?”

McKay leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “I am the head of science operations on Atlantis.”

“In the Pegasus Galaxy.”

“Precisely.”

“And you're Canadian.”

“Those are some great detecting skills, Sheppard.”

John didn't take the bait. “Ever been married?”

“Yes.” McKay looked down at his hands and fiddled with the small golden band around his finger.

John watched him, filing the new information away into his mental Rodney McKay file. “She work with you?”

“She's dead. Happened four years ago during a Wraith attack.”

“You still wear the ring?”

McKay didn't answer. He got up and started fiddling with some strange looking control station at the far wall.

John watched him for a while, the said. “You mentioned a team before, on Atlantis.”

McKay turned around again. “Four member team to go out and explore other worlds. There's Major Lorne, American Air Force, Ronon, from a world in Pegasus called Sateda, and Teyla, from a Pegasus world called Athos.”

McKay launched into a long-winded tale of their various travels, most of which was lost on John. He watched McKay, eyes bright with memories, face animated and hands moving, painting pictures to go with the quick stream of words.

It was obvious that McKay loved those people. The way he talked about them they were good friends. The thought of it made John's chest ache with longing.

_I'll show you your destiny, John Sheppard,_ the alien had said. What was his destiny? He'd quit his job, planning to vanish and start a new life somewhere else under a new name. But, instead, he'd ended up here. And there was McKay making John remember the friends he'd lost; the connections that had been severed when they threw him out of the Air Force.

For years he'd told himself that he didn't need anyone; that he was fine on his own, unattached, and able to pack up and leave at any time. But now, for the first time in long years, he wanted to stay. He wanted to be a part of this. He wanted what McKay had. He wanted McKay.

_Things just don't always go the way we plan,_ McKay had said. He sure as hell hadn't planned for this.

“Sheppard,” McKay was saying, and from the tone of his voice it wasn't the first time. John snapped back into reality. “Are you alright? You seemed... gone just now. Maybe you should go back to the infirmary-”

“I'm fine,” John interrupted him and got up. He walked over to Rodney's laptop and glanced at the screen. From the looks of it, McKay was running some sort of simulation.

“You could come with me, to Atlantis,” McKay said from behind him.

John suppressed a snort. Right, because the Air Force would be so glad to welcome him back with open arms. They'd made it clear, the last time he'd spoken to them, that they never wanted to see his face again.

His thoughts must have shown on his face, because McKay waved a hand and said, “Don't worry about the military. They owe me – big time. If I say I want you on Atlantis, they'll let you come. And besides, it's the IOA who's calling the shots now.”

John doubted that even McKay had that sort of power. But he saw the hope on the other man's face and the ache in his chest grew. He couldn't bring himself to shoot McKay down.

“I'll think about it,” he said. It felt empty.

McKay seemed to look right through him. “You do that.” He sound resigned.

McKay moved over to his desk and started typing on his laptop. John thought he should go, but it felt like too much of an effort to move.

“You'd like it there,” McKay suddenly continued without turning around. “We have ships you could fly. You have the gene, you know.”

The ache in John's chest seemed to be swallowing him up. He wondered if maybe he was bleeding internally. It was an effort to open his mouth to ask. “The gene?”

Rodney turned towards him again. “We call it the ATA gene. It enables the person who has it to operate the ancient technology. John – the other John – he was a natural.”

“I'm not him,” John said, anger suddenly burning inside him, the ache forgotten.

“I know that. I'm not implying you are. But you do have the same genes, so you will be able to work the technology. It gives me a good reason for asking them to let you into the programme.”

“Sounds like you have it all worked out, McKay,” John sneered.

McKay looked at him intently. “You' want to know why I still wear this ring?” He held up his hand. “It's to remind me that everything depends on the choices we make. If I had chosen to go with her on that mission, Sam might still be alive.”

“It's down to you, your choice. You can come with me or you can go vanish into the sunset, like you had planned.” McKay's voice was even, almost cold.

As soon as it had flared up John's anger vanished again. It was his choice. He remembered his last two important choices. One had cost him Nancy and left him feeling dead inside. The other had left him half-dead in the desert. He wondered if this was the one that would finally leave him dead for good.

“I'll think about it,” he said and left McKay's office.

 

###

In some worlds, John thought, he'd probably go for it without a second thought. In other worlds, he was sure, he got cold feet and didn't go to Atlantis with McKay. Very likely, there were a few other worlds were he wasn't allowed to go.

But in this world – in his world – he lay in a hospital bed and made up his mind.

 

The End


End file.
